Top 10 random thoughts while NOT seeing the Red Hot Chili Peppers

Because, you know, those of us who didn't get to that insanely packed Chilis' set early enough to burrow a butt-shaped hole in the sand might as well have watched from the Ferris wheel.

1.) Hey, Dude Picking Your Nose -- being drunk does not make you invisible. 35,000 people can see you. At least as well as they can see the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

2.) All the pot in the universe is being smoked right here, right now, in this crowd. Tomorrow there will be no pot left anywhere in the cosmos. Not even in Kentucky. And I am the only one in my vicinity not smoking it.

3.) Flea lives up to his name from where I'm standing.

4.) Bah. This is like listening to the radio while standing in a large annoying line where people feel safe to fart.

5.) I keep saying it. Ironic mustaches really aren't that ironic. Guess I'm not cool enough to get it. Word is, Anthony Kiedis had a mustache. Not being in the same galaxy, and maybe not even in the same Big Bang Theory, I couldn't tell you if he did or not. But several of his fans were rockin' 'em.

6.) I learned something today! You see those people carrying random stuffed things on poles? It's how they keep their group together. There's a designated pole holder. I don't get this, either. Fluffy kitty on the pole and plastic duck Duct-taped to a pole of Dos Equis cans, while mildly funny, seem like a commitment. And I'm old school. Carrying ANYTHING that isn't a beer at a rock 'n' roll show seems like a commitment. Every man for herself, I say. I'd rather just be separated. Unless the pole holder also holds the beer.

7.) Bet there'd be a great photo opp from the ferris wheel. Wonder if they'd let me cut line with my media pass. Oh wait, I'm terrified of heights. Kitty on the pole is taller than I wanna go.

8.) Wonder if this is a good show. Dang, I love "Higher Ground." I'd really love to be two blocks or 34,999 people closer to the stage for just this song.

9.) Is there a glitter fairy dropping glitter bombs? Seriously. What's with all the body glitter at this festival? [Pause while asking a few glittery strangers what's the deal.] Hah! There is a glitter fairy! "It's not mine, or I'd give you some," glittery blonde girl says, while pulling something out of glittery boyfriend's glittery backpack. "Someone just like, bombed us with it."

10.) Lol, the guy behind me just had to shush his girlfriend so he could hear Anthony Kiedis sing "Under the Bridge." I should play it on my iPhone so the poor guy can actually hear it.