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Lackluster 'Total Recall' remake missing the original's fun

11:28 PM, Aug. 2, 2012
Colin Farrell
Colin Farrell in a scene from the action thriller 'Total Recall.' / Michael Gibson/Columbia Pictures - Sony

‘Total Recall’

Star rating:★ ½
Rated: PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, some sexual content, brief nudity and language. 1 hour, 58 minutes

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It may be unfair to compare the remake of “Total Recall” to the original, but it’s almost impossible not to.

Besides, I suspect that the comparison actually does the new version a favor. Directed by Len Wiseman with far less artistry and humor than Paul Verhoeven’s 1990 original, the new film still will probably play better to those who remember even remnants of the first, who recognize certain elements. (Now there’s some irony in a film about memories.)

But for those who are new to the party, it’s more likely to come off like a big dumb action movie — a little smarter than some, maybe, but nothing special.

Then there is the matter of Colin Farrell in the role that helped launch Arnold Schwarzenegger as an action star(and not just a mindless instrument of killing). Farrell can act rings around Schwarzenegger, but he brings none of the much-needed wit to the role (even if much of it came courtesy of bad puns) that Arnold did. There’s not as much humor, good or bad, in the new “Total Recall,” and what there is seems stilted, forced. Farrell can be a funny guy (he was hilarious in “Horrible Bosses”), but not here, so perhaps it’s the fault of screenwriters Kurt Wimmer and Mark Bomback. (the idea is still based on the Philip K. Dick short story “We Can Remember It for you Wholesale”). The first film took liberties with the story; this film drifts away from the first. No Mars, no aliens, no conjoined twins. The three-breasted hooker is still around, though; some things never change.

This time around Douglas Quaid (Farrell) works in a factory that makes synthetic cops. His wife Lori (Kate Beckinsale) is an EMT. It’s not the life they wanted, living in a ratty apartment — the look of Wiseman’s film has more in common with “Blade Runner” than the original film. Then again, there is no Mars in this telling. All that’s left of inhabitable Earth is the federation of Britain and “the Colony” — Australia. Workers travel back and forth by way of “The Fall,” a sort of super-duper elevator that burrows through the Earth till it comes out the other side.

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Rebels, led by a leader named Mathias (Bill Nighy) want to overthrow the federation, which is run by the ruthless Chancellor Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston). He wants to crush the rebels, who he has branded terrorists for their violent methods.

Quaid is troubled by dreams in which he and a woman he doesn’t know are fighting the synthetic cops. He decides to visits Rekall, a company that implants memories, saving you the trouble of, say, going to the beach in person. Or, in Quaid’s case, becoming a spy. That’s the package he chooses. But the implant goes awry from the start — evidently, though he doesn’t know it, Quaid IS a spy. Within seconds, the synthetic cops are hunting him down.

There are plenty of twists to follow — some different from the first film (a crucial tear replaces a bead of sweat; if you saw the original that’ll mean something). Quaid meets up with Melina (Jessica Biel), the woman in his dreams, who is a rebel fighter, and learns that he is not who he thinks he is — as far as he can tell.

Some of the chase scenes Wiseman orchestrates are fun and exciting. But the most important part of the story, in any of its tellings, remains the issues of identity and trust — the question of whether any of this is really happening. Can Quaid’s memories be trusted? Can he? Unfortunately, for all the fireworks, this is where Wiseman’s version falls short. It’s big and it’s loud, but ultimately not much more than that.

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